Spring

Although I have been floating in a sea of sadness since the loss of my grandmother, there are still moments of joy in each day. One of the greatest joys is my own Melia Joy, who is a happy, playful toddler! She has become quite a big girl and loves being outside, climbing & running, playing alongside her brothers, and having fun! The weather, too, has brough some happiness our way. We are hiking, walking on the bike path, playing at playgrounds, eating at picnic tables, and enjoying fresh air!

Melia cracks me up too! About a week ago we went for a hike - which lasted about 1.5 hours - of which Melia walked ONE HOUR! I wore my Ergo the whole time, assuming she wouldn't last long walking, but my high energy girl kept on going (just holding my hand...to avoid stumbling on tree roots). When we finally got back to the car, and she was set down from the carrier, she ran back into the woods! She, of all three children, is usually the one to complain (cry) when we leave a playground, when it's time to come inside for dinner, or when it's raining and we just can't play outside. Actually, every morning when we drop off Dean, Melia points to his school playground and begs to go play! I assure her we will play after we pick up Dean, but this doesn't comfort her much. She wants to play: always! It's kind of an endearing quality. I love her high energy, desire to be outside playing, and her adventurous spirit!

At the age of 5 1/2, Drew has become much more affectionate and loving. He's been more cuddly lately; and I love it! Dean is still too busy for me to hold him long, but I'm confident he'll come around with age too :) Drew is also READING - seriously reading. He's way beyond sounding out 3-letter words and constantly impresses me. This morning he was reading the milk container: StonyField - Big word! He also writes, adds, talks about dinosaur characteristics/habitats/outerspace with confidence in his knowledge. He amazes me.

Dean is emerging from his shell. It took him 2 weeks to utter a sound at preschool this Fall, and this week his teacher said she now has to ask him to be quiet and give other students a turn in morning circle. Apparently, like his big brother, he likes to set the facts straight ~ especially during the calendar/weather talk. I can see him now: No! It's not cloudy outside, it's sunny! See! (pointing to the window) I have two little know it alls (soon to be three), but their confidence is not a bad thing.

So, while the kids may cause chaos on a daily basis, they are also the HIGHLIGHT of my every day...and life.

in this moment

in this moment
where wind chimes sing
soft breezes
the wind will bring
i think of you
as you are here
in my heart
forever dear

in this moment
driving in my car
children noises
sound so far
my mind wanders
to thoughts of you
as tears fall
our love was true

in this moment
out in my yard
that tree now blossoming
a memory jarred
sitting in my car
you said to me
"How beautiful!"
now a memory

in this moment
song in my head
"thank you
for being a friend"
a show we watched
i bought you the dvd
i'll sing out loud
and remember thee

in this moment
while at the zoo
i find myself
thinking of you
your compliments
things you said
always running
through my head

in every moment
thoughts of you
how would you respond?
what would you do?
the answers i know
they're in my heart
where you now reside
lest we be apart

i hope one day
to embrace you again
to laugh and love you
releasing the pain
i miss you, i miss you
i miss you so much
i long for one moment
to feel your touch
your warm arms
pulling me in
i can't believe
how long it's been

in this moment
right now, the one we are in
i'm thinking of you
where to begin?
i miss you, i love you
i'm holding you close
i'm making you proud
and i suppose...
i'm working on letting you go
just a bit
i know you'd want that
so i'll sit and i'll knit
and i'll smile deep inside
you know the kind I mean?
and i'll hold my babies:
melia, drew, and dean
and i'll love them as hard
as you loved me
and i'll be grateful
for eternity
for this blessed life
bestowed upon me
and most of all -
for my family

mama, i miss you each and every day...and while my heart still hurt with loss, it is also filled with joy and love. thank you.

I Love New York!

I love love love NYC so it was really exciting to bring the kids to the city this past weekend. Chris & I spent 6 years in NY together...and it's where our love grew, where we got engaged, began our life as a married couple, and made our first baby. In addition to all that, I am a true traveler at heart...and the diversity of people & experiences which NYC offers ignites my soul! I love the hustle and bustle, the cafes & restaurants, the museums, the people, the organized chaos :) I would love to find myself living in a city ~perhaps new york city~ again someday. For now, the 'burbs are where I raise my family...close to my own family. But, NYC, you've got a piece of my heart.

Well, we had a great weekend with the kids in NY/NJ. We drove into the city, arriving at the Natural History Museum around 12:45pm. The kids were thrilled to see the dinosaur exhibits which dominated two floors! The museum actually has the biggest collection of dinosaur fossils in the WORLD. For my boys, ages 3 1/2 and 5 1/2, that is COOL. We also saw the habitat exhibits with loads of animals...which they loved. Ingrid & Stephen met us at the museum and it was fun to catch up while touring the museum. We appreciate them coming out to meet us!!

After the museum visit, we met up with Chris & Ruowen outside (around 3pm) and we walked through Central Park to a playground around 87th Street. The kids got to run around a bit ~ it was a fantastic, beautiful, sunny day!! Melia cried upon leaving the playground...she loves playing outdoors and is quite an active little girl!

Following the playground, we went to Jersey City to the Liscio's! They were amazing and hosted all FIVE of us in their two bedroom apartment. They are expecting their first baby next month - and hopefully we didn't scare them too much ;) We went out for pizza and got the kids to bed around 8pm. All 3 kids slept in the same room...which was interesting. Melia was excited; Dean was turning the star-light nightlight off; the boys came out a few times. Overall, it was fine. Melia woke them in the middle of the night with her crying (she had a cold, poor thing) but they fell back asleep.

Sunday, after pancakes and Wall-E, we took a little walk. We stopped to enjoy some gelato :) and we were back on the road around 12:30. Overall, it was a great trip. We are so appreciative of Chris & Ruowen's hospitality and kindness. We're so lucky to have such great friends!! Best part of all: The boys LOVED NY!!! This means the world to me. I don't want my kids to be afraid of cities or dislike traveling. I want them to enjoy new experiences (like me!)...and they do. I hope we'll be more adventurous in the future...and continue embracing new experiences as a family of five. It's just such fun!

15 months - Melia

My sweet Melia is blossoming! She has a playful sense of humor. She follows direction like nobody's business. She's walking, climbing, running, throwing balls, trying to dress herself (without success), self-feeding, and talking! She's got quite a few words now: bye, hi, daddy, cheese, please, shoes, go, hot, dean, up, off, and bobby (who knows WHY but I'm often referred to by this name!). She loves hugging, cuddling, reading books, playing with trucks, cars, dolls, tricycles, swings, slides, playing ball. She is helpful with cleaning up, taking things out of the dishwasher, cleaning up spills, and sweeping ;) Her favorite foods are pasta (like mommy), salad, breads, melon, squash, pees, bananas... She's often teasing Dean or laughing at Drew. All of the kids are so affectionate and playful with one another! It's been great fun seeing her true, happy self emerge. Tomorrow she goes for her 1-year well visit 3 months late. I delayed the visit because I don't want to give her shots! I still don't - may bail out tomorrow. Anyway, I am still grateful every day for such an incredible blessing. She is a delightful little girl!