Friday, December 22, 2006


My intention is to get Drew involved in some more structured activities so he does not grow up thinking all time is free time. Hmm... So, beginning in January he'll be taking swim lessons with Daddy on Saturdays, attending library hour with grandma on Mondays, and going to a gym class with Mommy on Thursdays. This way we all get some time alone with him and he gets some "structure". Right?

I probably wrote about our experience with the kindermusik class...and today's library hour was not much different. The "class" began with some fun song activities which made Drew smile, spin around a bit, and then he proceeded to just run around the group. Meanwhile, I sat on the floor doing the itsy bitsy spider alone. Finally it was story time. Drew loves books! I thought surely he would sit with me. Not exactly. He was delighted to receive the little board book on farm animals. He sat for about two pages...and then was back on the move. Finally, out came the puppets. Animal puppets! Drew was delighted and chased the librarian around the room, trying to grab the puppets for himself. We ended up with quite a stash: a horse, a duck, AND a cow! That's my Drew. Finally, it was free play time. Baskets of toys were pulled from the cubbard. Drew was delighted...and sat for the remainder of the time building, right next to Mommy.

Why is it that during the free time he sat like a quiet, nice boy...but during the "structured" time he was running around like a wild child?!?

Thursday, December 21, 2006

There is a God

Drew has begun napping for over 2 hours. This has gone on for several weeks so I don't think I'll jinx it by posting. He goes down around 10:30 (after a morning snack) and sleeps until 1pm. Ahhh...peace in my home. There is a God.


From last Christmas to this Christmas, the difference in Drew is amazing. This morning we demanded that he stop getting big :) And while I seem to enjoy each new month more than the last, I am so scared that time is passing too quickly. I am afraid that soon he'll be off to school...then onto college...and then traveling the world. I can't imagine this home without him. I can't imagine begging him to visit and missing him terribly. And although I realize he is only 16 monts old, I know the years will pass as quickly as the months have. I love my little guy; I love spending every day with him. I love watching him discover and grow. This whole parenting experience is truly amazing. Life is truly amazing!

Tuesday, December 12, 2006

What about Drew?

The last few posts were not about my beloved Andrew. Perhaps that's because things aren't changing quite so rapidly as they once did. I remember when each week he seemed like an entirely new baby (ok, not exactly) but these days he is much the same. He is 16 months now and still a lively, excited boy! He insists on going outside to play every day - despite cooler temperatures. He loves running around the yard with his rakes, shovels, and new lawnmower - or hanging at the park going up and down stairs, running across the bridge, and sliding. He's not a fan of the swing anymore; I think he prefers his freedom. He still doesn't like to cuddle. I doubt that will change. He's very independent. He's the type of person who'll study abroad in a foreign country and move on to exciting cities throughout the world. (Wonder where he gets that from?) He's inquisitive and always exploring. He notices everything (like his Daddy) and would be the first to point out a change in the room. He likes things to be in order, although he likes to disrupt the order as well. He loves stacking, sorting, piling, building, and lining things up. He likes puzzles, crayons, little people figures, animals, books, cars, balls, and his jack-in-the-box. He loves to play daddy's guitar; and I will get him lessons in another year or two because he's got quite an ear for music. He plays the maracas like no one's business...and dances with great rhythm (also from Daddy). He's very funny; loves to laugh and make others laugh. He enjoys being chased and to bring on a good chase he'll find trouble. He has entered the "terrible twos" a bit early...with his wit inspiring him to cause chaos. He likes to see one's expression upon his wrong-doing and hopes to really get a rise out of you. I prefer to stay calm, hold him close, and explain what I expect and what he's done wrong. He hates to be held so tantrums ensue, but I feel like it's gentle discipline. Most of our day is filled with fun: outtings and playdates, stories, music, leggos. Many moments are spent in awe...amazed at how he's grown, what he's learned, and how much I love him. Despite all the "terrible" moments, it's worth it.

Friday, December 08, 2006


I made a mistake thinking we were ready for a dog; and I made a mistake letting her go. I didn't realize how sad we would all feel. Instead of relief, we found grief. It was one of the hardest decisions to make, and I question how carefully it was made. Could we have made it work? Did we leave her with the right family? Are we better off without a dog? The answers don't matter, but the questions don't leave. What's done is done. She has a new family who loves her very much. After recently putting down their Lab, they were ready to embrace a new puppy. She will bring them much love and happiness. I guess I wish we never got Zoe in the first we wouldn't be hurting right now...but I think we learned some valuable lessons: Puppies take a lot of work; we need to be better prepared next time with a fence and finished basement perhaps; and toddler + puppy = chaos.

I'm still sad. I feel the emptiness where there was once....craziness. I feel responsible for the sadness Chris is feeling. He is such an amazing and loving person. I know he agreed to letting her go because he felt it was in the best interest of the family. But he really enjoyed the responsibility of caring for her, training her, and loving her. It hurts me more to know that he is hurting than it does to feel the loss of Zoe. He's a good man and I feel so blessed to have him as my husband. I guess that's another lesson learned, but I already knew it.

Sunday, December 03, 2006

Should I stay or should I go now?

Many of you have heard the news...we got a puppy. But have you heard the rest?

Things are very "exciting" here at the Kardos house. This adorable little pup has been draining all of my energy...that which is kindly spared by my generous toddler. I have found myself in tears, overwhelmed by the training Zoe needs and frustrated by the attention she demands. It's a vicious cycle of anger and guilt that I no longer want to be a part of. SO, we've decided to give it one more week, but our search for a new home for Zoe has begun. That makes me sad and either way I feel I lose. Chris was right. I should've listened to him this time. We didn't need a dog til Drew could ask for one (and help!).