dear dean

Dear Dean,

It is the eve of your first day of kindergarten.  Tomorrow you will be entering a fabulous school where you will spend lots of time outside playing, where you can explore, learn, grow, create, and also be allowed two 20 minute periods of rest each day.  Ahhh...balance.  It is a small school, with 18 students in each class, and you will soon know all of the faces that pass you by...and you will discover a strong community.  You can stay in this unique school through 8th grade; I think you'll appreciate that.  I feel confident that this is a good place for you and hopeful that you will love it.  You are a gentle soul, a loyal companion, and a quiet boy.  You are so bright.  You are an observer who learns by watching; you are a great listener.  You are sensitive, kind, and thoughtful.  Yes, you can also be impatient, tired, and frustrated; but would we not say the same of nearly everyone?  You are a delight.  Your teachers and classmates are lucky to be receiving you.

I asked you what you are most excited for tomorrow, and you replied, "Playing on the playground with Drew!"  You also talked of coloring in the classroom.  I am happy when I picture these scenes: you finding Drew during morning recess and glowing with delight.  And you quietly working in your class ~ building, drawing, creating.  

I am nervous that you'll feel nervous - or scared, or sad, or alone.  I want you to feel safe and loved.  But I trust that in time, you will find those things within this community.  I can not keep you home with me forever...nor would you want that.  It's just that at the age of five, you seem so young and naive.  Will the world be gentle with your young heart?  I want you to know that I will do whatever I can to make this transition smoother for you.  I will make special lunches that you enjoy; I will keep our mornings calm so you are not rushed.  I will pick you up after 3pm each day with a little treat ~ wearing a big smile, arms open wide.  I will lay with you, as I did tonight, when you need to feel safe and connected.  I will listen as you share stories from your day...and tell me what you need.

I'm sad to see you go.  Melia and I enjoyed last year so much...you two played so well together.  You both gave each other space to be creative, to laugh, to have fun.  It was so noncompetitive and so playful.  I'll miss those days.  But, you all must grow, and I must let you go.  Tomorrow I will watch you on the playground, as I did tonight, tears in my eyes as I say "goodbye!"  I hope you have a wonderful, happy day...and that everyone at school can see the loving little person behind the quiet.

I love you,
Mommy