Saturday, July 17, 2010

moving forward...

Bonnet Shores had a big community yard sale today - and I was one of fifty to participate! I spent a few days digging through closets, boxes, and the garage to find items that we no longer used anymore. Among the things I sold were three baby swings (all different styles of course), a bassinet (which was mostly used for Drew's first three months of life), a vibrating chair (which no one ever really liked), and baby clothes. At first I relished in the money I'd made, the space I created in my house, the new homes which would enjoy these items....and then I got sad. I have had those items as staples in my house for the last 5 years. They represent my babies. MY BABIES. And I realize, sigh, that I'm no longer making babies. Done. Terminado. Finished. I love babies soooo much. I love them so much I facilitate pregnancy & new mom groups for a living....I'm a DONA certified post partum doula. I LOVE BABIES. It's so hard to imagine not having any more. My head understands that they cost money; our house is running out of space; I'm not getting any younger. But my heart wants to continue to grow our family, to have more cute, little Kardoses running around. I know I will long to feel a baby kicking inside my belly...long to nurse another little peanut...long to inhale the breath of new life. I can only hope my work can fulfill those longings ~ or that they subside with time. I need to move forward, embrace the three beautiful children we've created, be thankful for the blessings of my life, and rejoice in the closet space now available :)

So, here are my three "babies":

Melia, 6 1/2 months

Dean, 3 years

Drew, (almost) 5 years


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