a daughter

i dreamt of having a daughter my entire life. i wrote in journals since i was about 10 years old; and i kept them for my daughter. i thought maybe she'd want to know the little me when she got big. i kept my class projects, my cabbage patch kids, strawberry shortcake friends, and barbie dolls. i even held on to my entire collection of sweet valley high books! i guess i expected my little girl would be just like me.

then i gave birth to two boys. two fabulous, curious, silly, delightful boys. and i wondered if i would ever have a girl. it had never even occurred to me that i might not have a daughter. i was thankful for my two sweet boys, but i wondered if i might feel as though something was always missing ~ if i didn't have a little girl. would the boys care about my old journals? would they be impressed with the scrapbooks i made, or the baby calendars i kept for them? would they go shopping with me...or spend hours on the phone chatting about their day? i realized what a gift it would be to raise two sensitive, gentle boys - but i wasn't complete.

by chance - by some great, fantastic chance - i conceived a girl. and i look at those rosy cheeks and big, bright eyes and i am so in love. i love all of my kids equally, i do. but the difference is that now my world is complete. i am complete.